When my daughter Shelby was 3 years old (she is 24 now) I remember having to remove her from a social setting in a restaurant and take her over my knee and discipline her (yes, I know that seems old fashioned and archaic to some of you, but nevertheless, it is how we raised our children). I looked at her and said “Shelby, you can’t continue to whine and complain as you have been and making a scene. Remember, you are a winner, and not a whiner. She looked up at me and said, “Aw Dad, I got to be what I got to be”. I almost burst out laughing, but I held it together and told Angela about it later that evening. We both had a good laugh. Shelby has since become a lovely young woman who just graduated college in Kansas City with a degree in Finance, Accounting and Business. I am very proud of her.
But here is the thing: We do have a choice on how we react to what challenges come our way, no matter what our circumstances. We can either choose to “whine and complain” or we can use the challenge as an opportunity to “grow”. Real personal growth never comes from whining or complaining. Only defeat comes from that. What an individual decides to do when faced with adversity sets that person on a life course that can eventually either bring them before greatness, or to live a life of mediocrity in defeat, discouragement and depression.
On the way home from work a few days ago I heard myself speaking aloud complaining about a client situation that I had dealt with the entire day. I had been talking to myself for quite a few miles. It was only after a few minutes that an alarm went off inside my head and screamed out, Stop! What are you doing?! This is not you. Don’t go down this path! I had to change my words in order to change my mind set. It was a conscious decision not to allow myself to get negative or to speak out words of discouragement.
Remember, your self-talk in the face of adversity can change your circumstances. It starts inside of you and works it’s way outside of you and into those very same circumstances that seemed insurmountable, and it changes them as it also changes you. It is the last thing your human nature wants to do, but it is the one thing that you must master if you want to achieve great things in your life.